Thursday, April 9, 2009

Movie Review - Twilight

WARNING: if you are looking for a thumbs up, feel good review, then this post is NOT for you.

Yes, I've read all the books. I liked the books - they were entertaining quick reads. Ryan has read the first one and part of the second one. We didn't see the movie in the theaters because well, the trailers & casting looked awful. So we knew we'd wait to see it on DVD. 

Now, we knew going into this that the movie wasn't going to rock our world. We had heard from too many of our friends and family who had seen it and knew that it was what it was. Unfortunately, the movie turned out being WAY worse than I could ever have imagined.

Lets start with the casting? Or the lack of casting in this case. I blame Stephanie Meyers for this awful cast. She apparently had these lame "age restrictions" on the actors. Thanks to only being willing to hire actors under your age limit, you cast some pretty amazingly awful actors.  

1. Honestly, I don't remember Data (trekkie fans you know who I'm talking about) being in the book. Oh wait, that was Jasper. Pardon my confusion, for they had the same blank stare on their face it was hard not to get confused. He looked brainless and no offense, a bit mentally challenged in the movie. 
2. Rosalie is supposed to be this ethereal beauty. All I saw was a troll. Ok, so I'm harsh, but honestly, they could have found someone a bit prettier than her for the role.
3. Alice, was ok. Probably one of the more decent ones, but again, the perfect person for this role would have been ... Rachel Leigh Cook. Oh wait, you had an age limit. Boo on you! 
4. Carlisle - the best you could do was Peter Facinelli?????????? I'm sure that there are plenty of actors with more talent in their pinky than this guy. And really? Bleached hair? That compounded the awfulness ten-fold.
5. Jacob. Blame it on the way too bright (white) teeth or his ridiculous hair, but it just wasn't working for me. At the end of the movie at the prom, he looked like a cheesey stripper from the 80's/90's Chippendale posters. I don't think I was supposed to laugh everytime he came onscreen.
6. Emmett. I hated the hip-hop hoopty look they gave him with the sideways baseball cap and rapper sweat suit. I like Emmett in the book alot, but couldn't stand him onscreen.
7. Edward. Where was Edward? Did I miss him? Dangit! All I saw was Cedric Diggory hitting on Bella. Oh - Edward would have been so furious!
8. Bella. As far as casting goes, Kristen Stewart is a good Bella - lookswise that is. Actingwise she was a little weird. She made all these strange faces that were far from natural. But compared to the other actors she didn't bug me as much the farther we got into the movie.

And what was with the hair? Everyone (except Bella) looked ridiculous. They all had American Fork hair and that is NOT a good thing folks. Is that really what ridiculously handsome, beautiful, fashionable people look like? Thank heavens NO. 

Oh, and I can't forget to mention the special effects, or lack of. Both forest scenes with Bella and Edward were awful. In my opinion, if you can't do it right, don't do it at all. It looked like they took a picture of a spider monkey climbing a tree and pasted Edwards head on it's body.

I could go on and on about how awful this movie was. This is what I get for watching the movie. Total disappointment. I should have just stuck with the books and the characters as they played out in my mind. Though it was fun to laugh with Ryan while watching it.


Celeste said...

HA HA HA HA!!! This is hilarious! American Fork hair...! HA HA HA!!! I love it! I was pretty disappointed in the casting as well. and the acting all seemed a bit amature to me.
Loved the books though :)

AJ, Shauna, Keegan and Camden said...

So, I a way. I wasn't super pleased with the movie as a whole either, because I did like the books, but when is a movie ever as good as the books they are based on. Never...I can't think of one time. With that in mind, the movie didn't bug me too much, which is why I actually own it (don't disown me, ok?).

However, I totally agree about some of the casting. Every time Carlisle came in I thought of the movie "Can't Hardly Wait" and that just ruined it for me. Esme reminded me of her crazy character on "Grey's Anatomy" too much and I have to agree that Rosalie was not as pretty as she could have been. Both Bella and Cedric, I mean Edward's, weird faces bugged me. He always looked like his teeth were bugging him. Oh yeah...and the weird crazy Asian guy that liked Bella - so not what I pictured when I was reading the book. Hopefully the casting (and to be honest, the movie as a whole) will be better in "New Moon."

Emily said...

I totally agree with you!!!

valerie said...

I love that I laughed, out loud at every one of your remarks...and yet what have I been watching this past week as I've been running on the treadmill? Yup, this movie! Do you think less of me as your sister knowing that I own it (it was a gift). It makes me feel good knowing I have higher standards of movie quality than what this movie has :) And it makes me happy knowing you feel the same way!!