Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the Hell that is Potty Training

Yes, I said Hell and no, it wasn't by accident. Warning to those I just offended, do not read below, you will just continue to take offense.

Potty Training has truly become the bane of my existence as a mother and has definitely turned me off to having any more kids. Seriously, I will not have any more children because of Potty Training. I can deal with temper-tantrums, squabbling siblings, and toys all over the house. But not this. 

Riddle me this:  How long does it take a 4 year old to get the hang of it (especially since we started Potty Training when he was 2)?  Apparently forever.  We go a week with no accidents, then 2 weeks riddled with a gazillion accidents, and only after losing ALL of his toys will we get another week of no accidents, only to be followed by another 2 weeks of accidents galore and once again loss of all toys. This never ending cycle is getting old.

I decided to do a friends boot camp routine with Berlin as she's had great success with both her kids. YEAH RIGHT!!!  Berlin was doing great the first part of her potty training, but she sees Finley fight, scream, and protest on a daily (hourly) basis when I ask him to sit on the potty, that now she has no desire what-so-ever ... and gives me lip-service everytime I put her on the potty (what a great teacher Finn turned out to be).  My kids could care less about any reward ...  Stickers? Fruit snacks? Unlimited capri suns or juice?  Popsicles? Chocolate?  Toys?  All she says is, "I don't like stickers, " "I don't like fruit snacks," "I don't like soda," "I don't want to be a big girl," and blah blah blah blah blah.

The best advice I have gotten to date; be consistent and loving. Loving? LOVING? It's a little hard to be loving after the 100th time of dragging your child to the toilet, all the while getting punched and kicked the whole way over, and hearing "Stupid Mom" a hundred different ways. Only to have them soil their pants in the process. Loving flew the nest a long time ago. So to well-intentioned advice-givers out there who think they know the trick in getting them to embrace a relationship with the potty ... Please refrain - unless you plan on coming over and "implementing" the plan yourself while I check into the hospital.

So, that's it. I'm done. I'm calling it quits. I could care less if my children wear diapers 'til they're 8. The money that underwear is supposed to save me is being wasted by the enormous amounts of laundry I do each day from accidents. And I'm tired of being grumpy mom, because trust me, it's made me grumpy (just ask Ryan).  I was much happier when they were in diapers.

7 comments:

Celeste said...

It truly is HELL!!! I agree! Good luck

Klausey said...

It's true....she's grumpy

AJ, Shauna, Keegan and Camden said...

I've started and stopped with Keegan so many times I've lost count (and after the diaper he had earlier, I'm glad that I had stopped and put him back in diapers. I would not want to have cleaned that out of underwear). I'd give you advice, but I have none. The best thing (meaning the most entertaining) I heard was to just let Keegan run around naked from the waist down in the backyard and just leave his potty out back for him to sit on once he finally decides to go on the toilet, but I'm not there yet. I'm with you...I'm happier with him in diapers for now.

Sugar & Spice said...

So on a happier note...
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad you are back!!!

Sara said...

Oh Cynthia, AMEN to this post! Everyone keeps asking when I'm going to potty-train Zach (he's 3) and I'm always like...soon...but inside I'm thinking "I am so not in the mood to scrub poop out of the carpet and clothes for who knows how long." Easton is 6 and still has nighttime accidents. I've come to the same conclusion you have. Guess I need to go buy some Depends.

Mama Bear said...

I could sooo feel your pain with that post. Wish I had the ultimate fix all, but alas I don't. Would it help to hear that K has decided that it's ok to pee in her big girls panties and she does it even when she is less than 6 inches from the pottie and has already announced that she needs to go -like it's just too much for her to hold it for 3 more seconds and make it onto the potty. I won't even mention the totally soaked pair of underware and pants I found shoved under her bed and only found when I walked into the room and wondered where the musty pee smell was coming from...oh wait, I guess I just did. Just hang in there and in the mean time all hail to the makers of disposable diapers everywhere :o)

Hoopesfam4 said...

Don't have any advice for you (surprise, surprise) but I do feel for you!! I wish I could wave my non-existent magic wand and have all of our kids potty trained instantly...that would be so wonderful. So wonderful.