Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear Life

Dear March Winter Storm:
I hate you & all 7 inches of crap you left in my yard. Please go away and do not come back until November, at which time I might appreciate all that you offer.

Dear Bentley:
Lately you have not been "man's best friend." I hate you for shredding my beautiful Banana Republic chiffon dress yesterday while we were at church. I don't know why you did this as you haven't done so since you were a puppy 4 years ago. So why now and why my beloved dress? And what the heck were you doing upstairs in the first place. If you EVER do this again, you will find yourself out on the front porch with a 4-SALE sign around your neck. I don't care how much the hubby & kids object.

Dear Memory Loss:
Please leave me alone. If I forget one more thing on the top of the car while buckling the kids into their carseats, please please please bring it to my remembrance BEFORE we drive away rather than remembering it only after it's flown off the car while on the freeway. I am tired of replacing cell phones.

Dear Freeway Construction Guy in the Truck:
Thanks for helping Ryan locate the previously mentioned cellphone on the side of the freeway. For once I'm glad the freeway had construction going on, thus reducing the speed of the cars whizzing by as you & Ryan located the phone.

Dear Sticky Fingers:
Where were you when I needed you? Because of your absence a very nice vase shattered all over my stove after it slipped through my hand while tightening the bow around it.

Dear beloved sister Valerie:
Thanks for this very therapeutic way of writing a blog.


Shelby said...

too funny. sorry about all the snow, forgotten cell phones atop a car and Bentley . . . come on now. What are you doing? You should know better! : )

Shalyse said...

this is the greatest post ever! how clever :-) did you seriously lose more than one cell phone that way?

Shannon Sundberg said...

Great post! I am so glad to know that Bloggers are human and everyone's lives aren't perfect. You are the greatest and we love your blog!